My last chemotherapy treatment was on June 21 (woop). I am thrilled to be done but the side effects from the last treatment were the worst I've had. The 8 days or so post chemo infusion, I had the worst bone pain of my cancer treatment. The pain is in the bone's marrow because I am on steroids to increase my white blood cell production. Throughout my chemo, I've had various degrees of bone pain but have controlled it with Tylenol and Claritin (my doctor told me it helps and it does!). This round the Claritin was not cutting it.  I am sure many of you have experienced this pain but for those who haven't it is BIZARRE. I started to feel parts of my body I had never felt before. I became very aware of my knee joints because I could feel the bone marrow inside of the bones. It is hard to explain but truly a new experience for me. Unfortunately, the pain got to a 6 or 7 on my completely subjective pain scale. I was also having muscle aches and nausea that were no where near as impairing but definitely added to the general feeling of discomfort.

I reached out to some good friends who have experienced significant pain for some pain management resources. My big goal throughout cancer has been to avoid taking any opiates or benzodiazepines, if possible, so I have been exploring other options for pain management. A friend sent me this article from Sarah Ross which was very helpful. I have been doing some guided visualization meditations through Headspace. I have done different breathing exercises and Yoga Nidra for pain. It was all helpful and I needed to do many things all together in order to get through the worst of it. My partner was so supportive even though I could tell it was hard for him to see me in pain. Sometimes I think it is easier for me than for some of my loved ones because when I'm in pain that is all I think about. It is easier for me to stay in the moment. However, I know my partner, sister, mother, step father are thinking of all the worst case scenarios and possible complications. There is a lot of overlap in what can help folks who are concerned for others and folks who are going through pain themselves. Emotional and physical pain are valid and deserve support. Luckily, I am feeling better from the bone pain and will have hopefully no more going forward.